Harry Potter and the Strange Inheritance
by Aridethdar
Summary: One minute Harry was walking around, minding his own business, and next thing he knows... WHAM! He's a lovely albino snake and can't figure out how it happened! If that's not bad enough, The Dark Lord comes by and decides he'd make a perfect PET. What's a BWL to do? And what's this about being a Creature? ... HP/LV (TMR)
1. Normal is Overrated

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make money from this. This is purely for my entertainment, but I have opted to share it with others rather than hoard it for myself… maybe…

**Warnings:** This is probably a fic on crack. Like I said, I made it for my entertainment and did things I thought, in my mind-world, were amusing. So I disregard a lot of things… Characters might be OOC… then again this is fan fiction, what do you expect right? XD lol Spoilers are possible. Maybe, maybe not. Just be warned that there might be. Oh, and the main pairing is **yaoi/gay/maleXmale**so you have been warned. Another thing… disregard Sirius falling into the Veil, because in this story he didn't. I luffles him too much to let him die… or at least stay dead XD lol And chances are Harry will have multiple partners, because I think the guy needs lots of love!

**A/N: **Thursday's installment of my little Octoberfest! This fic is scheduled to be updated every Thursday in October, though I admit I am posting the first chapter early... got to get some sleep and I have a busy day tomorrow ^^;; lol If you don't have anything else to read until next Thursday, feel free to check out my other stories (all of which will be updated weekly this month). Thank you and Enjoy!

Key:

" Speech "

' _Thought '_

_~ Telepathy ~_

_**§ Parseltongue §**_

Might add more later. *shrugs*

oOoOoOo

**Harry Potter and the Strange Inheritance**  
Chapter One: Normal is Overrated

oOoOoOo

**§That can't be normal.§ **And it wasn't. Because an albino snake speaking English was definitely not normal.

Or, rather, he THOUGHT he was speaking English. Knowing his luck, he was probably speaking parseltongue and didn't even know it.

_'A viable option, actually.'_ Harry thought.

How many times had he spoken without recognizing the language for what it was? Too many, that was for sure. Not until his second year when he learned what he was doing wasn't normal had he even paid attention. In fact, until that point he'd thought it was pretty cool to speak to snakes.

And now he was one.

Harry had to admit he made a rather pretty snake. His scales weren't just white, they were more "Mother of Pearl" in coloring and he found himself partial to it. There was a barely noticeable design down the middle of his triangular head which, unsurprisingly, resembled a lightning bolt.

Luckily the scales that made up the design were such a pale green that it blended in with the rest of his body quite nicely. No one would even notice it if they weren't specifically looking for it, that was for certain. But still…

'_How utterly annoying. I can't even get rid of my bloody scar in __animal form.'_ Not that he was an unregistered animagus or anything.

In fact, the first hour in this snake form Harry had been incredulous as he wondered how the hell he had ended up thus. He wasn't an animagus to his knowledge, he'd never practiced to be one so the chances of it being that particular option were slim.

Nevertheless, no one had been around to cast a spell on him. In fact, he'd been quite happy to get away from everyone for a little peace and quiet before he boarded the train that would take him back to his summer hell-hole.

If it weren't for Dumbledore's insistence that he go back every year, he would have bought a place in the Wizarding World to live in ages ago. Or even moved into one of the Potter properties, now that he thought about it. It wasn't as if he were without any place to go, after all, but… well, Dumbledore wanted him to go "home to family."

Too bad Dumbledore didn't realize that Harry had, more or less, disowned his family a year or so ago. He wanted nothing to do with the worthless lot, and as far as he was concerned the world was better off without them.

Honestly, expecting a Wizard to live in the home of magic hating Muggles. It was ridiculous! As far as Harry was concerned, they could just Obliviate the miserable bunch and the family could believe he had died along with his parents in the "car crash."

Truth be told, Harry wouldn't mind if they erased all traces of he and his parents from the Muggles' minds, ensuring that they could never let anything slip about the Wizarding World. Not that he really thought his Aunt would, seeing how much she seemed to hate magic and all, but… he really didn't think it wise to take that chance, spiteful old broad that Petunia was!

But, alas, that was an issue he would have to take up another time. For the moment, there were much more important things to deal with.

Like the fact that he appeared to be stuck in the body of a snake for no apparent reason.

Yeah. That was definitely an issue which was the number one priority on his "problems" list. Especially seeing as he had been stuck in said form for several days now and there was quite possibly a large search team out scouring the planet for him. Under Dumbledore's coercion, he was sure.

It wasn't like there were many people who would look for him without good reason. Sure, Hermione and Ron would…

_'Nah, scratch that. Ron would on the condition he could return home for his Mum's cooking every day.'_ Harry thought as he sighed, he couldn't blame him though... Mrs Weasley's cooking was amazing!

Hermione on the other hand… If she COULD search for him, he had no doubt that girl would move Heaven and Earth to find him, and probably give the Devil a fright while she was at it. When someone puts a Mother Hen on a mission to find her "chick," they'd better just step aside and hope she doesn't seriously maim someone in her pursuit.

Then there was Remus and Sirius. They would happily search for him… But with Sirius a wanted fugitive and Remus a known Werewolf forced into hiding, it would be rather difficult for them to do so. Actually, Harry had the mental picture that they were holed up someplace together. He sort of hoped that was the case, at least. That way neither one of them would have to be alone.

Other people who would rescue him… Ah! Now the Twins would come after his arse in a skinny minute! Then again… he had the strange feeling that the deviant duo was quite literally after his arse. They had started giving him that vibe not too long ago actually. That "we would fuck you here and now if you let us" kind of vibe.

And there had been several occasions where he had been tempted to say something,but they had always been surrounded by the whole Weasley family. That just wasn't something one brought up in "polite company."

That was yet another thing he would have to deal with after he figured out how to get back into his body.

And if that wasn't bad enough, when he DID finally figure out how to get back to normal, he would have to be near some clothing. Because whatever had happened to make him turn into a snake hadn't transformed his clothes along with him.

If fact, they were still sitting on the edge of the forest near Hogsmeade; in the same spot where all of this first began.

He'd travelled a ways since then though, even if he was within a mile or so of the town, so maybe someone had found them and knew he was close by? Or, more than likely, they had found them and thought some student had ditched them due to the hot Summer weather and had forgotten to retrieve them before heading home. Luckily the standard procedure would be to return said items to the castle, so at least he'd have them back come the new school year...

_'Okay, I need to focus. I have to figure out how I got into this mess so I can get back __out of it.'_ Harry thought as he coiled his long, gorgeously scaled body up on a sun warmed rock.

Hey, if he was going to be stuck as a snake for a little while he might as well make himself comfortable!

**§Very nice.§ **He hissed in delight as he let the sun's warmth soak in.

One great thing about being a snake for the Summer? Unlike Human form where he would be dying of heat stroke right about now, as a snake he could stand the heat quite nicely. In fact, the hotter the better!

_'What do I remember happening before being turned into a snake?'_ Harry wondered in his mind as he let his thoughts drift back to the day it happened.

Not that he hadn't already played it back in his head several times since his transformation, but maybe there was something he was missing? Not only that, but he'd been rather panicked all the other times he'd tried. Now he was relaxed.

Very relaxed, actually, thanks to Mr. Awesome Rock and Mr. Oh-so-warm-and-perfect Sun.

_'Maybe I shouldn't worry about it. I could just enjoy my Summer, for once, and then seek some assistance when school starts__.' _Harry thought, but he realized there might be a slight problem.

If he WASN'T speaking English, and was in fact speaking parseltongue, then no one could understand him. He was the only Parselmouth at Hogwarts and, quite frankly, he doubted the only other Parselmouth he knew of would be willing to help him.

Harry could be wrong, but he just didn't foresee the freaking Dark Lord willingly helping the "Savior of the Light."

_'I really hate those fucking titles they insist upon giving me. They are so… cliché.'_ Harry snorted.

But, alas, he was getting side tracked again. He really needed to get check for ADD one of these days or something.

Not that he would let a Muggle doctor touch him. But he would be willing to inquire at St. Mungo's sometime and see if they would be able to confirm or deny his suspicions on the subject.

_'And we're off in left field, yet again.'_ Harry sighed and shook his head.

Honestly, when he got back to Human form he was going to put all of this in a pensive and just take a day to sit back and watch. He was sure, in retrospect, all of this would be hilarious.

At the moment, however, it wasn't one bit funny.

_'Okay, I was on my way back to Hogwarts to finish getting ready… And I remember thinking I was really hungry and then…'_ Harry tried to dig for more information, but he drew a complete blank.

He didn't remember anything other than feeling hungry. That wasn't a sign of a spell that made one transform, nor was it a side effect of any potion that he knew of, and he didn't think a feeling initiated the animagus change.

Then again, he didn't have anything to go by for the latter, really. Especially seeing as Sirius was usually hungry all the time because he was constantly on the run and couldn't really get anything to eat himself without being caught.

So, maybe that WAS a sign…

_'But I haven't practiced at all! And they say that animagus transformations take at least two years to accomplish and are very dangerous and take a lot of concentration. I wasn't thinking about THIS at all!' _Harry groaned mentally.

The good news was,however, after he became a snake he wasn't quite so hungry as he had been prior to the transformation. A day into the "Change" and he had come across a rather fat rat. While one part of his mind had been screaming "Ewwwww," another part had happily gobbled it up while imagining it was Peter Pettigrew.

Yeah, that had been rather fun actually. And no one could get on to him about it, or his mental musings. He had just been doing what he needed to survive, that's all. Or at least, that's what he kept telling himself. Even he could admit that his mind had gone into some darker territory with his mental musings on the rat's suffering.

Strangely enough, he just couldn't really find it in himself to care.

_'Now that I think about it, I've been getting really hungry a lot lately.'_ Harry thought and his eyes widened. _'Don't tell me I'm pregnant!'_ He allowed himself a slight moment of panic before he smacked himself with the tip of his tail right in the middle of his forehead.

**§Don't be stupid.§** Harry hissed at himself.

After all, one had to DO something in order to get pregnant, at the very least, and he was still very much a virgin. Not only that, but males didn't get pregnant. Well, not as far as he knew at any rate. Strange things were known to happen in the Wizarding World, and many of those things defied the laws of human biology. Heck, magic didn't even know the meaning of "the laws of science" as a whole, what's one more oddity like male pregnancy?

Yeah, Harry would check into that sometime when he was back to being Human, and he knew the answer wouldn't surprise him one way or the other at this point.

_'I was hungry, I've been getting that feeling a lot lately, and… I've got nothing._' Harry was used to feeling hungry at the Dursleys but he never felt that way at Hogwarts, ever, so it was really strange. Whether the hunger and his current predicament were related, however, was left to be seen.

Nothing he had heard or read had said anything about a person transforming into an animal after getting hungry. In all honesty… he probably had nothing at all in his recollection that would be of use in this situation. Surely he had no information to go on to solve this problem if he hadn't thought of it by now.

'_I might as well stop worrying about it and enjoy myself_.' Harry sighed again and shifted his curled body so he was laying more comfortably upon the warm, flat surface of his sunbathing rock. '_If no one can help me, then I'll have to get used to it anyway. And it wouldn't be so bad, really. No more disgusting Muggle relatives to deal with. No more expectations from the masses for_ "_The Boy Who Lived." And no more dealing with utter bullocks every year.' _

He wouldn't stop trying to return to being Human, but at least he could look on the bright side if he tried and failed.

_'Besides, normal is overrated.'_

And with that thought in mind and the warm sun shining happily down upon the pretty white snake as he lay languidly against the flat rock, Harry drifted off to the land of dreams.

TBC...

o . o . 0 . o . o

**A/N:** Well, hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Yes, it's a little short, but I've found shorter chapters means I'm more likely to stick to it XD lol

What's really sad is I have more pages of mature content (that I will only be posting on AFFN) written than I do story at this particular moment in time XD lol Ah well, hopefully I can catch up story wise and keep the plot it has on track XD lol

Like it? Yes? No? Feel free to let me know ~


	2. Dark Lord's new pet!

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make money from this. This is purely for my entertainment, but I have opted to share it with others rather than hoard it for myself… maybe…

**Warnings**: This is probably a fic on crack. Like I said, I made it for my entertainment and did things I thought were amusing, in my mind. So I disregard a lot of things… Characters might be OOC… then again this is fan fiction, what do you expect right? XD lol Spoilers are possible. The main pairing is yaoi/gay/male male … And actually, this will more than likely end up a Threesome/Moresome type fic so… yeah, lots of sweaty mansex for my entertainment? lol (Though I will only share those particular parts on AFFN under the same username...)

**A/N: **Just a note, I posted Snape's reaction to finding Harry's clothing. It's called Harry Potter and the Strange Inheritance: Snape's Discovery ( on my profile... has the same pic as HPatSI ) ... if anyone is interested :D lol In a way, it's kind of foreshadowing. In my opinion at least. *shrugs*

Either way, you have sapphyredragon-rn to thank for it! She is awesome~

Also, this fic is to be updated Thursdays but I have an early night and a busy day tomorrow soooo... early update for you!~ lol

**EDIT:** If you get a chance, I have a **poll** up to see what fic everyone wants me to focus on after October is over. If you think I can keep this pace up for another month, you're crazier than me! :P lol

oOoOoOo

Key:

" Speech "

' _Thought '_

_~ Telepathy ~_

**§ Parseltongue §**

"_**Spell**"_

Might add more later. *shrugs*

oOoOoOo

**Harry Potter and the Strange Inheritance**

**Chapter Two: The Dark Lord's got himself a pet!**

**Beta:** sapphyredragon-rn ~ She is awesome! Love her. If not for beta-ing, then for the fact she's the one that reminds me when to update ^^;; lol

**oOoOoOo**

Today was a day for celebration! Finally, after having returned to power two years beforehand, Lord Voldemort had once again obtained his true form!

His new recruits had nearly swooned when he'd burst into the meeting room. In fact, that disgusting disgrace for a follower, Wormtail, had indeed fainted. It had been pathetic, really, and he had enjoyed waking up the moron with a well aimed Cruciatus.

That had been one hell of a rush. Now, he was back at full strength and, thanks to the potion he'd been working on since shortly after his return to power, he felt more alive than he had in years. Additionally, whenever a horcrux was destroyed, the released soul fragment was reabsorbed into his body.

_'Heh, Irony at its best.'_

He had realized that between Potter and Dumbledore he was down a couple horcruxes, but he couldn't force himself to be too terribly upset. Voldemort had realized that having so many had actually been hindering him. Now,thanks to a meddlesome puppet and its master, the Dark Lord was quite a bit more sane than he'd been in ages…

Which didn't bode well for the "Light".

Sure, he still felt there was something missing… but it was such a small part by this time that he didn't even think it worth dwelling on. He was strong, he was powerful, he was sane and, once again, he was handsome.

He'd found it was much easier to draw in loyal supporters with charisma and charm than it was with fear. If one recruited followers out of fear alone, they were likely to turn. If one were to draw people in with their power and charm, with ideals and beliefs that meant a better world for everyone, then servants were usually quite a bit more loyal.

Even if the "leader" fell, which he didn't plan on doing ever again, the ideals would still be there. The beliefs would still be deeply rooted into the followers and things could still be accomplished towards that common goal. People were more apt to go along with a set of ideals than they were to follow one man.

Then again, he was a pretty scary mother fucker even when he did look human, so it wasn't like anyone was stupid enough to challenge him. Voldemort's power wrapped around him and filled the room whether he tried or not. Power was just so much a part of him that anyone with half a brain could feel it…

Red eyes glared at the cowering "rat" not far from him and Peter urinated on himself at the look.

'_How unpleasant, the little worm wet himself.'_ Voldemort sneered in disgust as the scent drifted over to him. _"__**Stupefy.**_" He hissed out and the balding man dropped to the ground unconscious. "Somebody clean that mess up."

Five men, and almost all the women in the room jumped at the chance to do something for the Dark Lord. He smirked, yes, his human features were most rewarding. If he couldn't reel them in any other way, now he could gather fans as much as he could followers.

"Lucius." Voldemort called as his crimson gaze scanned his Inner Circle.

"Yes, my Lord." The platinum blonde smirked as he moved forward and knelt before the Dark Lord, a mere yard from his Master's feet.

"Gather a few of my Death Eaters, ones that are not easily recognized and bring them forward. I think a group of seven, you and myself included, would be appropriate for the outing I have in mind." Voldemort commented with an air of indifference.

"My Lord?" Lucius chanced a look at the Dark Lord's face, the crimson eyes that caught his gaze not allowing his eyes to wander.

"I wish to go to Hogsmeade. I doubt anyone, aside from Dumbledore perhaps, would recognize me. I want to test this theory in addition to picking up a few items."

"Why Hogsmeade, my Lord?" Lucius wondered aloud, then cringed when he realized the words had left his mouth rather than stayed in his head where they belonged.

"Because it would be quite amusing." Voldemort smirked as he ignored the blonde's slip. "Imagine, literally walking right under the old coot's nose and him being none the wiser."

Voldemort had a good point. It would be ironic and terribly amusing for them to waltz into the town, Mr. Know-it-all-with-a-damning-twinkle-in-my-eyes having not an inkling of their presence.

It would also give them an idea of the school's security levels, as well as that of the town. Yes, the blonde could see the logic in this and he was rather impressed that no one had thought of it before now.

It was so simple, and it would be wonderfully useful knowledge to have.

"Thank you, my Lord. I'll get on that right away." And with that Lucius disappeared into the crowd of gathered Death Eaters.

oOoOoOo

It hadn't taken long to get their little outing group together, and they were already walking towards Hogsmeade. Lucius had done well with assembling the group. In fact, it had taken Lucius the whole of… about two minutes to accomplish the task.

It seemed as if Voldemort's plans were working even better than he'd first thought. People were literally jumping at the chance to spend time with him. A complete turnaround from the way things used to be, that was for certain. It amazed him how shallow humans could be. When he'd looked like a monster, they were trying their best to get away from him as soon as possible. Now that he was himself again…

Well, the Dark Lord knew how to use it to his advantage either way, so it didn't matter.

Though he had to admit, he was rather impressed by the little group. All were "no names" to society, so to speak, so none would be recognized… aside from Lucius, of course. But the blonde would stand out like a sore thumb even if he was trying not to. A Malfoy takes pride in standing out, so Voldemort doubted the blonde would ever try to blend in. Even if ordered to, the Dark Lord had a feeling that the Malfoy would probably choose to be tortured instead.

Strange family, that one… Abraxas had been much the same, Voldemort supposed it was in their genes or something. Abraxas' father hadn't been at all like that, but then again… the man's father was also supposedly the "insane" one of the family. To Tom, it had always just seemed the man was rather sane. The only thing was, unlike the rest of his family, he knew how to have fun.

Guess all the man's antics sucked the fun out of his descendants.

_'Perhaps I should have the little Malfoy mate with something a little less…pompous. Maybe a Fae or something, those things can be wicked tricksters and know when to blend in.'_ Then again, the only time those buggers blended in was so no one could find them when they were causing mischief.

Still, it would be rather entertaining to introduce such a creature to a "no nonsense" type family.

Yeah, that would be his next pet project. Perhaps he could even talk Severus into lending him a hand. The poor thing had had so many jokes played on him during his youth, it was only fair to let him have a hand in this one… even if it was directed at his best friend's family and his godson. But Snape wouldn't dare deny him his fun, even if the Dark Lord did have a messed up sense of humor.

_'Besides, I could kill two birds with one stone. Make a treaty with the Fae, and offer them up the young Veela hybrid to mate as a…gift of faith to better connect our two races and strengthen our bond. Yes, that's a delightful idea.' _Then the young Malfoy really wouldn't be able to get out of it.

Yes, he would get on that little project as soon as they got…

**§Watch it!§** A voice from nowhere hissed and Voldemort froze as his eyes widened slightly before looking down.

There, right where he'd been about to step, was a gorgeous albino snake. No, that wasn't it. Though the snake was white, it's scales were more a "Mother of Pearl", ever changing as the light hit it. And those eyes were not the red of an albino, rather a lovely yet frightening shade of green. The same green…

_'As the Killing Curse.'_ Voldemort thought as he studied the snake before him.

The Dark Lord could tell this was no ordinary snake, but he couldn't quite place his finger on what it could be. There were tales of magical snakes, of Nagas taking on snake form, and even Lamia taking on the shape of their serpent half. Now which this little snake was, however, he couldn't tell off the top of his head.

And Voldemort wasn't about to let the little beauty get away until he had an answer.

**§My apologies, young serpent. I was lost in thought. It is a pleasure to meet you.§** Much to everyone's surprise, including the young snake, Voldemort actually made a formal bow to the white serpent.

**§See to it that you pay more attention, Speaker, lest you find my fangs in your flesh should we meet again.§** The snake stated after a moment's hesitation.

So formal for a snake. Yes, this was by far no ordinary serpent. Voldemort just had to have it! And if the snake, a male by the sound of it, had a Human form… well, that would be an added bonus.

**§Should we meet again? Forgive me, young serpent, but I have every intention of us meeting often. In fact, I wish for you to accompany me.§** Voldemort smiled and the snake laughed… or rather made a hissy-chuckle like sound.

**§ No thanks, I'm quite comfortable here thank you. §** The snake hissed stubbornly and Voldemort's eyes widened.

He wasn't used to being refused, much less by snakes. Most snakes jumped at the chance to be around a Speaker, as they were so rare. Most felt compelled to obey Speakers, if truth were to be told.

Then again, maybe this really was a "Human" in serpent form after all. Yes, he was sure that had to be it. There was no way a snake, magical or mundane, would refuse the invitation of a Speaker. That left the options that this gorgeous specimen was either a Naga or Lamia, and both were rare magical beings that were much sought after. Something many would kill to have in their possession.

_'And to think, this gorgeous little guy practically fell into my lap. Perhaps a gift from the gods? Oh, how I will enjoy this boon.' _The Dark Lord smirked. Though there was still a minuscule chance that the snake was indeed just a magical serpent, the creature would still be a lovely addition to the Dark Lord's household...

**§ Hmmmm… Tell you what. If you come along with me willingly, I promise no harm will come to you by my hand, until you either leave or you desire to terminate the agreement. §** Voldemort smirked. He would have what he wanted, whether his little serpent liked it or not.

**§ And if I refuse you'll take me anyway, even if that means harming me, I take it? §** If snakes had eyebrows, the Dark Lord was pretty sure this one's would be raised in question.

**§ Ah, smart little serpent. I suppose you're a Slytherin. §** The snake reared back, as if struck, and Voldemort assumed he'd hit the nail on the head. **§ Not to worry little one, if you come with me willingly then I swear on my magic that I will not harm you… unless, of course, you want me to. In which case the agreement will be null and void, and we can negotiate a more favorable contract. If you try and leave, the agreement will be terminated and I will be allowed to use whatever measures I deem necessary to keep you.§** He smirked, the innuendos glaringly obvious in his opinion.

The beauty seemed to contemplate his words for a moment then, sensing the magic in the air and realizing the Wizard's Oath the Dark Lord had given, the young man in snake form relaxed.

**§ Why would anyone ****WANT to be hurt? §** The serpent inquired as he cocked his head to the side, a gesture that betrayed his curiosity and confusion, and Voldemort's eyes widened slightly.

_'Could it be I have an innocent on my hands?'_ The Dark Lord wondered, finding that he'd be rather pleased if that were the case.

**§ And I'm not little.§** The snake grumbled after a moment, which brought a smile to the Dark Lord's handsome features. That had been a rather Human sounding response to such an underhanded insult to one's stature... but that wasn't necessarily proof.

Voldemort was sure the pretty young male was frowning at this point, even though snakes couldn't really do so.

§** Of course not. Five foot nothing is actually a pretty nice size… for a snake. It isn't like your snake form is an anaconda or anything, so it is rather impressive for what you are… Though I have to wonder as to what your height would be in Human form. §** Voldemort's comment was delivered in an offhanded manner, but true to his Slytherin ways he was subtly fishing for information.

**§ I'm not short! I'm fun sized! § **The snake defended and Voldemort smiled.

That had been a VERY Human answer, and the male hadn't denied he had a Human form. So the Dark Lord's suspicions were confirmed, he was dealing with either a Naga or a Lamia…

Oh, and how delicious it would be if it were the latter. Lamia were sexual creatures by nature, they fed on sexual energy much like sex demons in fact, and if this male were in fact said creature… the Dark Lord was sure he'd have an endless source of deviant entertainment. Even if the young male was innocent now, Voldemort would very much enjoy showing him how to "feed," among other things.

Voldemort chuckled. **§ Fun indeed. §** He smirked. **§ Now my young serpent, will you accompany me willingly? § **He inquired, though he knew he would get what he wanted whether the little guy was willing or not.

**§ Not like I have a choice. §** And if snakes could shrug, the Dark Lord was sure the one before him would have done so.

With a resigned sigh the beautiful serpent slithered down from his rock.

The young male looked back at said rock, rather forlornly, before hissing out, **§ Goodbye Mr Awesome Rock, §** before he continued over to stop a foot in front of the Dark Lord. **§ Well, are you going to pick me up, or do I have to crawl up your body? And if it's the latter, I can't promise that it'll be fun. §**

As tempting as it was to have the little possible-Lamia slithering against his body, he still had things to do. That, and he didn't want to give the young serpent time to change his mind. True, he would get his prize no matter what but... The Dark Lord would prefer not to resort to methods that could possibly harm his new pet.

"Let us be off then." Voldemort stated as he bent down and gently lifted the snake before wrapping the scaled form delicately around his neck. **§ Comfy? §**

**§ I preferred my rock. §** The young snake grumbled, but didn't make any move of discomfort otherwise.

**§ So, my little serpent… What shall I call you? §** Voldemort inquired as he let his crimson eyes admire the snake's scales. The male truly was gorgeous, and the Dark Lord couldn't wait to see him in his Human form... Or his half serpent form for that matter. Yes, the crimson eyed man was sure that it would be a stunning sight!

The snake paused for a moment, thinking it over. Voldemort knew that the chances of getting the male's real name so early on was next to nil, but he was curious as to what the little guy would come up with.

**§ Stripes. §**

Voldemort blinked, and opened his mouth to speak before closing it as he blinked again. He shook his head and had to ask...

**§ Why? You haven't a stripe on you. §**

**§ And that's what makes it funny. §**

The Dark Lord made a mental note to interrogate the Malfoy heir and see if there were any pranksters in Slytherin. Though Voldemort was pretty certain, due to the little guy's intelligence and cunning, that he was meant for Slytherin… comments like that made him wonder.

_'It's almost as if I have a Slytherin-Gryffindor hybrid or something.'_

"My Lord?" Lucius inquired from behind him.

"It seems I've acquired an interesting new pet." Voldemort chuckled and the snake hissed at him.

**§ I am no pet! §** The snake cried indignantly.

**§ You're mine now. But don't worry, I'll make sure this arrangement is beneficial to you as well. §** Crimson eyes gazed into green and a hand reached up and stroked the gorgeous white scales. **§ Would you like some candy? §** The red eyed male inquired as he continued on his way, his followers right behind him.

He had had every intention of going to Honeydukes anyway, after all, so it was only nice to offer.

**§ Didn't adults ever tell you not to accept candy from strangers? That's what they're supposed to say, though not all do... §**

Well, that was interesting. Most would say "didn't your parents ever tell you," but Stripes had just said adults in general. Either the boy knew about his past and lack of parents, which was highly doubtful, or Stripes himself had been without…

_'If that's the case, then it certainly narrows down who my new pet is…'_ Though, considering the amount of casualties in war and the number of orphans… There were still several possibilities.

Still, it would be a rather interesting endeavor. He had always been a fan of challenges and puzzles as a child and things hadn't changed much with age. He was more than capable of uncovering mysteries and taking on challenges nowadays. And he believed that this young male would definitely be entertaining and more than worth the effort.

oOoOoOo

TBC

**A/N:** Still short but, eh… it's how I want to do it :P lol Shorter chapters seem easier for me to make than long ones, and I'm not talking about the obvious factors. I dunno, it just seems like anytime I try and make long chapters I get overwhelmed and lose interest or something... Ah well.

So, any comments, suggestions, etc? I love to hear from people! Though since I do this for fun, flames will be used to roast marshmallows. I haven't had a good smores in ages! lol

s/8588601/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Strange-Inheritance-Snapes-Discovery


	3. What just happened?

**Disclaimer, Warnings, etc from previous two chapters still stand... But just in case that isn't enough, I reiterate: **I do no own Harry Potter. So :P lol

**Beta: **The awesome sapphyredragon-rn~ Actually, you have her to thank for the first line. It was originally "What just happened?" but she wanted it to have a little more... kick XD lol Love ya Sapphyre! You are the best :D

**A/N:** I would like to say a big thank you to three authors that I absolutely adore! Athey, HuskyWalker, and doyou000me. Before I made my account I had been lurking and reading on FFN for a while and these three have stories that I positively LOVE and the fact that they like my story... I'll admit, I made some very fan-girly noise ^^;; lol *hugs*

**Harry Potter and the Strange Inheritance**

**Chapter Three: What just happened?**

oOoOoOo

'_What __the bloody buggering fuck__ just happened?' _Was the main thought running through Harry's head.

One minute he was minding his own business, happily sunbathing on Mr. Awesome Rock, the next minute he's wrapping himself' around the Dark Lord's shoulders, riding along as the man headed for Hogsmeade.

Sure, he recalled the things that happened in between, but they just seemed so... surreal.

'_So the guy about steps on me, I hiss and threaten before I even realize it, and lo and behold... it's Tom bloody Riddle!' _And it WAS Tom Riddle.

Not the snake-faced Voldemort, but the handsome young man that had lived within the Diary... Well, the handsome young man a few years older. Like twenty-something, maybe? Harry wasn't sure, Wizards aged slower than the Muggles he was used to observing, but there was one thing the Boy-Who-Lived did know...

The bastard was hot! And not just his amazing body temperature, which Harry's snake form found irresistible. No, the man was handsome and it was totally unfair as far as Harry was concerned. Why?

Because Tom Riddle had been his first crush.

_'Bloody Diary...'_

Not that Harry would ever admit it to the man... Or anyone, for that matter. Hell, he didn't want to admit it in his head much less aloud. The Last thing he wanted was for the world to know that he had had a crush on the young rising Dark Lord. No, scratch that, the WORST thing would be for the Wizarding World to find out he was gay AND that he'd fancied the young Dark Lord.

He was pretty sure that "coming out" would embarrass him just as much as—if not more than—people finding out the truth of who his first romantic feelings had been fixated on. Then again, maybe not. After all, how many people knew that Tom Riddle had become Lord Voldemort?

Harry could bet that the number was only a handful, if that, so...

'_Still doesn't explain what happened.' _Harry commented mentally to himself, and he couldn't help but wonder if maybe he should just go with the flow and not bother trying to figure out how things had happened.

It wasn't as if he could change anything at the moment. The Dark Lord had made it abundantly clear that he had every intention of keeping Harry and he would use any means necessary to do so. And quite frankly, Harry enjoyed what little freedom he did have.

The Boy-Turned-Snake just couldn't find it in him to test the Dark Lord's patience by trying to escape. He could just picture the Dark Lord happily putting him into a cage or tank just to ensure he wouldn't be able to run away...

Or slither away as the case may be.

Besides, the man had made an Oath. So long as Harry didn't try and leave the Dark Lord, he would be safe.

'_Even if, or when, I manage to regain my human form.' _So it's not like Harry could complain. Not really.

Yes, the look on the Dark Lord's face if... no, WHEN he regained his true form would be priceless! And the fact that he would be unable to harm Harry was too good to pass up!

'_Payback for all the "little" comments.' _Harry smirked mentally.

That's when he realized something. Riddle had mentioned that he was a nice size, for a snake. And the man had commented about if he were in Human form... Not if he HAD a Human form, but were he IN Human form...

'_He knows.'_ Harry thought and tensed. '_Voldemort KNOWS.'_

Harry realized that there wasn't a doubt in the older male's mind, as far as he could decipher, that Harry was not a real snake.

'_But why didn't he try to reveal me for what I am? Why didn't he use the spell to show my human form or a counter-spell or something... Unless...'_

Unless the Dark Lord knew he wasn't an animagus, or under a spell, but something else entirely.

But if that were true, then what WAS he? What could Harry possibly be that would transform him like this? What could cause him to become a snake? It didn't make sense!

**§Don't fret, my little serpent. ** The red eyed male hissed reassuringly. **§What makes you so tense? Tell me so that I may ease your worries.§**

**§I'm not sure... I might let you know when I figure it out.§ **Harry responded with a snake-shrug, which drew a warm chuckle from the Dark Lord.

That startled Harry. So much so that the little green-eyed snake would have fallen off the man's shoulders had he not been wrapped around the Dark Lord so securely.

Sure, he'd heard the Dark Lord laugh before... but it had been an insane, "I'm going to kill you and enjoy it immensely" laugh while he had been a snake-human hybrid. The way Riddle had laughed was soothing, not just the charismatic laugh he used that drew people like flies: The one that he wielded like a weapon.

No, this was the real deal. One of those "caught off guard" knew that this wasn't just speculation because he could see the surprise in those crimson orbs. Harry had truly caught THE Dark Lord off guard! Not that said Dark Lord would ever admit to such...

Even knowing all this, Harry couldn't help but think he should laugh more often. Because the man's genuine laugh was really something else.

'_Yep, I've done lost my mind.' _Harry concluded.

After all, here he was being toted around on the shoulders of the man who had murdered his parents, not to mention who had tried to kill him on a regular basis and what was Harry thinking about? How nice the man's laugh was!

Yep, he was completely barmy.

Though Harry had to appreciate the irony of it all. The man had been after his life for years and now that Riddle had Harry in his grasp, completely defenseless, he didn't even know it! And to top it all off, the Dark Lord had made an Oath that would prevent him from causing Harry any harm.

'_Got to love Irony.'_ Harry mentally smirked.

If there was any bright side of his current situation, it would be that Oath. How long it would protect him in the long run- should he ever regain his Human form - however, Harry was uncertain... but he would enjoy the sanctuary while he could.

With a content snake sigh, Harry settled down around the man's shoulders and decided to just go with the flow. Seriously, why bother freaking out? It wouldn't do him any good. He was stuck like this for Merlin only knew how long, so he might as well enjoy it right?

No Dumbledore, no Dursleys, and no Dark Lord trying to kill him! He couldn't have asked for a better summer! Might as well take full advantage.

'_And if he tries to hurt people in Hogsmeade, I can always bite him.' _Harry thought offhandedly with a snake-y grin as he made himself comfortable, determined to just enjoy the ride.

Lucius was curious about their party's new addition, but he knew better than to question his Lord. Though he had to admit, the snake was absolutely gorgeous! He had never seen such a gem and to have found the creature sunbathing so casually along their path...

Perhaps it was fate? Perhaps the snake and his Lord were destined to meet? Though the questions weren't worth dwelling upon, since he doubted he would ever get them answered.

Quite frankly the Malfoy patriarch had had enough dealings with "Fates" and whatnot. One incident in the Department of Mysteries over an attempt to obtain some answers regarding "Fate" was enough to last him a lifetime, thank you very much.

He had barely managed to come up with a believable story in the short amount of time he was presented with. Though he had managed to talk himself out of Azkaban after that one, he had developed a distaste for "Fate" and Divination since.

Something was decidedly off about the snake in his Lord's possession though. He couldn't quite put his finger on it... Honestly he could swear the creature had an aura of power, that he could sense magic surrounding it and...

_'Is it magical?' _That was a possibility, which made his Lord's find even more extraordinary. _'Could it be more though? Even if it were just a magical snake, I don't believe my Lord would have responded in such a way...'_ The blonde then thought of Nagini and mentally shrugged. _'Then again, I could be wrong.'_

One thing was for certain... everyone, aside from himself of course, was staring at the Dark Lord with expressions that were a cross between fear and awe. Apparently the others Lucius had gathered for this little outing had never had the pleasure of hearing their Lord speak in the ancient tongue of serpents.

They weren't exactly freaking out, but they had slowed down so that they were a few paces further back.

_'Cowards.'_ Lucius thought in exasperation and, with much effort, refrained from rolling his eyes at their comrades.

The Malfoy Patriarch found the snake language quite invigorating really, as long as it wasn't against him at least. He could understand why people would be wary when Nagini was around, but this little snake appeared rather harmless.

_'Although it is hard to pinpoint it's breed, what with it being an albino, so it is uncertain whether or not the little guy could pose a threat to our well-being. And fear of the unknown is just as potent, if not more so, than fear of what one does know.'_

Perhaps the cowards behind him had the right idea and were merely listening to their instincts of self-preservation?

_'No, they are looking at the Dark Lord, not the snake, so they are merely afraid of the man's talent rather than the creature curled around him. If they were smart, they would be more focused on the snake.'_

Besides, Lucius hadn't brought these nobodies along for their wits. They were little no-names that could not be easily associated with the Dark Lord and would not cause a riot in the small town they would be exploring per their Lord's request. It was the ONLY reason their ilk was being allowed to associate with people who were so obviously above their status.

Not that Lucius was happy about it. He would choose brains over anonymity any day! The blonde could only pray that their Lord didn't want to be out too terribly long, he didn't know how long he could stand these lower Death Eaters without hexing them.

And such a public display just wouldn't do! It would be extremely unbecoming of a Malfoy.

"My Lord?" One of the lower Death Eaters inquired and Lucius mentally rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to curse the imbecile.

"You were given strict orders not to call him that while on this excursion, especially this close to the town and inside of said village. If you require to call him something, refer to him as Lorance." Lucius stated in his demeaning drawl, trying to get across to the guy how little he thought of him.

The lower Death Eater didn't get the hint.

"Why Lorance?" The guy asked, confusion apparent on his face and both Lucius and the Dark Lord had to refrain from sighing... among other reactions.

"Just in case you muck up and try to call him something similar." The blonde explained.

"What is similar to..." The lower Death Eater stopped mid question when the snake around their Lord's shoulders started to hiss at him...

Rather violently in Lucius' opinion.

The Dark Lord stopped and turned to look at the idiot and the rest of their group came to a halt as well, though Lucius noticed with some amusement that the others seemed to give the stupid one a wide berth.

At least they were smarter than their "buddy".

Harry was usually a pretty easy going guy. Yeah, he would get up tight from time to time, but after having lived with the Dursleys for so long he had learned to go with the flow and don't bother talking... at all really. But patience and silence were skills he had needed to survive.

Maybe that's why he'd become more talkative at Hogwarts. Actually having a chance to chat with people, without being punished for doing so, had opened up a whole new world for him. In addition to the Wizarding World in general having been revealed to him, of course.

But throughout the years, even if he hadn't been allowed to voice it, there was one thing that really got on his nerves.

Stupidity. **Blatant** stupidity. It really pissed him off. It was a wonder that his accidental magic hadn't blown his idiot of a cousin sky high at some point during his time spent with the moron.

But this? This was ridiculous! The man was an adult, he should have a little—if only by a minuscule amount—more sense. But apparently he was either extremely slow in the mental department, or purposefully being rather dense. Honestly, Harry had hoped that Voldemort had higher recruiting standards...

Then again, maybe not. If they were all this stupid, they would be easier to take out. On the other hand, one should never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers.

The Idiot was in the middle of asking a really stupid question when Harry snapped.

**§ Just in case you say "My Lord" you idiot! You can catch yourself in time and say My Lor-ance and people will think you are saying it as an endearment or something. Dumbass.§ **Harry paused in his rant and looked at the extremely pale man he had been yelling at.

_'Oh, looks like he really can't understand me.'_ Harry mentally shrugged. If it hadn't been confirmed before, now he was one hundred percent sure he wasn't speaking English.

Oh well! Might as well have fun with it!

**§ Not that he would even so much as look at you in such a way. I'm sure he has higher standards...§ **He said scathingly, enjoying the fact that he could insult the crap out of the Idiot and said moron would be unable to retaliate. **§ Actually, I would hope that everyone would have higher standards. I am a firm believer in Natural Selection and that stupid people shouldn't breed. § **He smirked, as much as a snake could at least.

He had been wanting to use that remark for ages now! And though he had desperately been wanting to use the insult against his whale of a cousin, he knew better than chance it. With the Muggles he could not use magic, nor was he protected by the bloody Dark Lord, so it would have been suicidal to make such a comment.

Here however, wrapped securely around the Dark Lord's shoulders, there would be no retaliation from the victim of his venomous words. Even though the Idiot couldn't understand, it was nice to get things off his chest.

Besides, Voldemort could get a kick out of his rant. And judging by the glorious laughter coming from the red eyed man, Harry had indeed managed to entertain the older male.

**§ Are you going to bite the moron? §**

Harry paused as if he were thinking seriously about doing so before he sighed and replied. **§ No, he would more than likely taste horrible. Besides, I'm ****sure he'll off himself in the end. Perhaps he shall even earn himself a Darwin Award in the process. § **He snickered.

**§ Darwin Award? §**

**§ Yes. It is an award given to those who so graciously eradicate themselves from our gene-pool in such a spectacularly ignorant way that it is glaringly apparent that they should never have been allowed an opportunity to breed anyway. §**

Voldemort crimson eyes watered slightly and Harry realized that it was from the effort not to laugh. Harry supposed the Dark Lord thought he had done enough of that today and didn't want to make a habit of it or something.

At least, not in front of his followers.

"Lucius." It was one word, but coming from Voldemort it sounded like so much more.

"Yes?"

"Make a note... I wish to have the Ministry issue "Darwin Awards" when the situation is appropriate. Perhaps even have them engraved upon the recipient's gravestone."

"Duly noted. May I inquire..."

"No. Though I will brief you when we return from our trip. We have wasted enough time as it is, and I would prefer to get to Honeydukes before it closes. I believe watching my new pet going after a chocolate frog would be rather amusing, don't you agree?"

**§ I'm not a pet! § **Harry hissed.

**§ You are mine. I will call you what I like, Stripes. Though you may think of the term "pet" as an endearment, my little serpent. §**

**§ And I'm not little! § **Harry exclaimed, then dropped his head in defeat. **Oh, what's the point in arguing with you? You're as stubborn as an ox and listen about as well as one too. §**

Tom smirked but did not reply; instead, he addressed his followers. "Let us be off." And with that the Dark Lord made his way once more toward the small Wizarding town just a little ways outside of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Harry was still unsure of what exactly had happened, and how he had ended up in such a predicament. He had, however, come to the conclusion that he should fall back on his old ways. He believed his old habits would be to his benefit, given the situation, and they hadn't failed him yet. They were the practices that had helped him survive his "loving relatives," after all, and the ability to just go with the flow would aid him in the long run he was sure.

He wouldn't ask questions and he would quietly observe. At least for the most part. He would be sure to comment and crack jokes often, just because he COULD! Voldemort was the only one who could understand him, apparently, so he might as well enjoy it.

Besides, the Dark Lord didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to enjoy Harry's commentary so the Boy-Turned-Snake would continue.

One thing was for certain... Life was becoming increasingly more interesting for Harry!

TBC

oOoOoOo

**A/N: **Well, that's it for my pre-written chapters of this story XD lol Guess I should get my butt in gear... What? You thought I was writing a chapter a day for six stories? With a oneshot on Sunday? (Wait... I have been typing up said oneshots from week to week actually XD lol) Anyway... That would hurt ^^;; lol Though I do write every day in order to keep up with Octoberfest XD lol

I love all the reviews, faves, and follows! Thank you so much! I really appreciated them *^.^* And I apologize for not responding to them all like I really want to, but my free time is limited and I have a feeling that most of you would prefer I write than respond, huh? lol I hope that I can continue to entertain you!

Oh! And if you get a chance, there is a poll on my profile to see which fic I should focus on after October. Yes, I agree with HuskyWalker on the fact that it's cruel to make people choose but...No worries! I do not plan on abandoning any of my stories, I just want to know which one to finish first ^^;; lol (Months of looking for work and guess what? I got TWO jobs... in one week . Not to mention I have a little one XD lol) So yeah, I will have a very limited amount of time for typing and I need to focus on just one for now XD lol Thankies!


	4. Did she say MATE?

**Disclaimer: **Did Harry and Tom go at it like rabbits? No? Then guess what! I don't own Harry Potter XD lol Actually, the wonderful J K Rowling does! So love her awesomeness~

**A/N:** Long time no see! I do apologize, but real life and my computer messing up seem to have gotten in the way. No matter, I've figured out a way around the technological issue! The RL thing on the other hand...not so much XD lol Ah well, that's life! (Literally.) Here's a new chapter ~ And I plan on updating once a month until this story is complete. Until then, the rest of my stories are on hold and/or will be updated at random... I'm good at random XD lol

**One more thing: During the story you will notice two places with * instead of § ... That is because this document wasn't allowing the § to stay for some reason and I wanted a marker...**

**Warnings: **One thing I would like to clear up and I will be fixing it in the warnings prior to this, Harry wont be with multiple people. Originally that was the idea in my head, but my muse has decided otherwise. He might be a voyeur at some point, maybe, but that's about the extent of any "multiple partners" at this point. Oh! Language is a MAJOR thing this chapter. Sick humor, Humor in general, and what Harry would consider "attempted rape." Not really, but it gives him a scare XD lol

oOoOoOo

**Harry Potter and the Strange Inheritance**

Chapter Four: Did she say…MATE?!

**WC: **1616

**Note: This is the unbeta-ed version... you have been warned! **(Will post beta-ed version when my wonderful beta is done ~ tee hee)

oOoOoOo

'_The chocolate frog must die!'_

Harry couldn't help himself! One minute he had hissed his refusal of entertaining the Dark Lord by chasing after the artificially living critter, and next thing he knew…

'_Damn instincts.' _They were still so new that he couldn't control them yet. _'Well, at least I get chocolate out of the deal.' _And he was COVERED in it too!

Harry knew he was probably a sight, what with patches of chocolate coating his lovely scales and all, but…

'_I'm having fun damn it!' _

It was about damn time he got to enjoy his life. After his horrid childhood and the lack of chances he got to enjoy himself, he didn't feel even an ounce of regret for doing so now. So what if he was in the clutches of the Dark Lord? So what if it was his parents' murderer who was housing him and showing him a good time? So what…

'_If I'm fucked up in the head?' _

Yeah… he could blame that on the Dursleys. Actually, there was a LOT of shit he could attribute to his relatives and their "loving" treatment. When he thought about it… maybe that's why Tom was so messed up.

Riddle had been raised in an orphanage, right? Surrounded by Muggles. And if THOSE Muggles were anything like the Dursleys then Harry was surprised he wasn't more like the Dark Lord.

'_I could have been just like Tom, actually. Honestly, what was Dumbledore THINKING?'_

Considering the multiple times Harry had been placed in harms way, sometimes with the old coot's encouragement, the batty bastard probably DIDN'T think.

Amazing how in no time one's world could turn upside down. Just a week or so ago Harry had been heading back to his own personal hell. Now? He was with his worst enemy and having a blast! Heck, said enemy even treated him like a precious person! As if Harry was a treasure or something…

In fact, the Dark Lord seemed to care for him more than he did his own Death Eaters.

**§ What do we have here? § **A feminine voice brought Harry out of his thoughts with a start.

'_Damn, I didn't even hear her approach.' _Harry mentally chastised himself for his inattentiveness.

He might be the Dark Lord's "pet," but that didn't mean he was completely safe. There could be traitors among the ranks for all he knew.

Harry turned around to check out the female who had spoken only to come face to face with a big snake. A VERY big snake. Comparatively speaking, he was David and she was freaking Goliath!

**§ Hello… §**

**§ Ah! You're male! I had thought that might be the case, judging from your scent, but there was an underlying… femininity. §**

**§ Huh? § **Was she calling him girly?

**§ Has Master brought you to me so that we might mate? § **The large girl snake inquired and Harry paled.

Or would have paled if he hadn't been an albino.

**§ Um… n… §**

**§ About time, really. I have been telling Master for ages that he needed to get his tail in gear. §**

**§ I think you're mistaken… §**

**§ Oh, I'm not mistaken. I know Master doesn't have a tail, nor is he able to mate with me. §**

**§ No, I mean… §**

**§ Enough talking. Let's make babies! §**

If Harry looked back he would deny it vehemently, but in that moment he screamed like a little girl and ran -er, slithered- away for dear life!

oOoOoOo

Voldemort had watched as Stripes went after the first chocolate frog. His new pet was highly amusing and he loved the little guy's energy. The snake had quite literally been like a kid in a candy store. He was something else and the Dark Lord knew he had made the right decision in bringing Stripes home.

However, a Death Eater had interrupted them as Voldemort released the second chocolate frog for Stripes to play with. The Dark Lord had been miffed, to say the least, but he had let it slide. Instead, he had released all but one of the frogs and charmed them to keep jumping until they were consumed…

Or melted, whichever came first.

He had told Stripes to have fun and he would return shortly. Not that his new little pet was listening, but it was courtesy to let the boy know.

First thing the Dark Lord did once he had seen to what the Death Eater thought so "important" was to Crucio the Idiot. Then he had held the Rat under the torture curse for good measure. Honestly, the Idiot thought there was a rat infestation because of Pettigrew's stupid arse. Like THAT was an issue THE DARK LORD needed to take care of. That's what he had SERVANTS for, for Merlin's sake!

'_Some people don't deserve to breed…' _Stripes had been right about that.

**§ Eeeeeep! § **The scream sounded feminine and Voldemort picked up his pace.

He could only hope that Stripes hadn't attacked Nagini… Granted, that would be quite a sight considering their size difference.

Before he could dwell on that train of thought, however, he witnessed Stripes slithering out into the halls like the hounds of hell were after his tail. Riddle watched in shock as the snake headed right towards him and…

**§ Stripes! § **Voldemort exclaimed when said snake went up his trousers. **§ What in Merlin's name… § **Yes the red eyed man had every intention of getting into Stripes' pants when he returned to Human form, but…

**§ Get her away! Get her away! I don't want to make babies! § **Stripes cried when he made it to Voldemort's shoulders.

Before the Dark Lord had a chance to respond, the albino attempted to climb up to the top of his head.

**§ Stripes, stop! What are you talking about? § **Voldemort inquired as he tried to pry the albino away from his face.

**§ Come here little male! Time to mate… Oh, hello Master. § **Nagini greeted before her eyes locked on the smaller snake who appeared to be hyperventilating and clung to the Dark Lord as if his life depended on it. **§ Can you set my mate down? We need to get busy. § **

'_Ah, that explains a lot.' _Tom shook his head and laughed. **§ Nagini, I did not bring Stripes here to be your mate. § **

The female snake leveled him with a glare. Apparently the news hadn't been received well by the large serpent.

**§ Well who did you bring him here to mate with? You? § **Nagini huffed and the Dark Lord knew he would need to tread carefully. An angry female was never a good thing, but an angry female SNAKE was even worse.

'_Not angry, she sounds almost… jealous.' _

Yeah, not good. A jealous female was down right deadly, especially one with FANGS.

**§ Perhaps… But that is besides the point. § **Voldemort laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood and calm Nagini down.** § Stripes isn't really a snake, so no need to be resentful. § **

**§ I don't resent the fact that you failed to obtain a mate for me. What I am upset about, however, is that I seem to have been replaced and… Wait. What do you mean he's not a snake? § **The female cocked her head to the side in a confused gesture.

**§ Yeah, what do you mean I'm not a snake? § **Stripes asked indignantly before he paused. **§ Wait, what am I saying…§ **

Voldemort chuckled and shook his head. **§ You're one of a kind, Stripes. § **He stated as he settled the white snake comfortably around his shoulders.

**§ Duh. § **Stripes replied and stuck out his forked tongue. **§ And don't you forget it. § **

'_I wonder if he will be this cheeky in Human form… Normally I do not like people acting disrespectful, but I like it when a lover doesn't fear me…' _He paused as he thought of a certain dark haired teen who had a consistent record of going head to head with him. _'Hmmm, perhaps killing the brat right away is acting a little hasty. Waste not, want not… ' _He shrugged mentally. '_Then again, the boy is not near as desirable as a Naga or Lamia.'_

Tom smirked as he stroked his mysterious little snake. Yes, regardless of what his pet was, the little guy would be worth it.

**§ I still want a mate. § **Nagini, on the other hand, might be a problem…

"It seems I will have to play match maker for two people then." Tom sighed and looked into Stripes' green eyes. "Would you like to assist me in this endeavor?"

**§ You want ME to help YOU play match maker? * **The Dark Lord was sure that his albino friend would have raised an eyebrow at this… if he had any brows to raise of course.

"Certainly. At least if you are assisting in the search, you're not a candidate."

** * Then I'd be happy to help, Cupid. §**

oOoOoOo

**A/N: **Short but funny, right? I hope so… anyway, we see that Tom secretly has a hard-on for Harry, Nagini's baby clock is ticking, plus the Dark Lord and Harry have a project together! lol Sorry for the short chappie, between my little one and work life has been CRAZY . Not only that but my computer went psycho XD lol

Enjoy! I've got work to do now :D … *sigh* And I had been hoping to get some reading of my own done today *looks at new chapter of **Little Seer **and pouts* Maybe next week…


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